Need for Blood
by TheMidnightWhisp
Summary: Merrills addiction with blood magic only grew worse once she found the Eluvian. Now it has become her only dark need... M!HawkeXMerrill.


**A/N:** Okay, before I get any rude reviews about how _'this doesn't make any sense because this never happened in the game'_... I would just like to ask, didn't it seem a little too easy for Merrill to destroy the mirror? This is the one-shot of what I think Merrill should have gone through before she decided to destroy the mirror.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own these characters etc. they belong to Bioware.

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Merrill bit down on her lip hard as her hands shook wildly. Blood trickled down her trembling lips and trailed down her chin, which only made her shake more. She brought the blade up and closed her eyes tightly as she sliced down her palm, whimpering at the sharp pain as tears streamed down her face.

Her body shook more as she cracked open her eyes slightly and stared at the blood that covered her hand and knife. She winced slightly and closed her hand to make a tight fist. She whimpered and flinched at the pain of closing her small hand tighter, making the blood drip and fall between her white trembling knuckles. The blood landed against the pale grey stones in her small house as she let out a shaky breath that she had been holding in for the entire time as the drops of red splattered on the cracked floor.

She started breathing quicker and cool tears streamed down her cheeks as she felt the blood her hands grow warm as the spirit whispered kind promises into her ears for the blood. Slowly taking what she had offered.

The warmth snaked through her blood and into her veins as it seeped through her arm and straight to her heart. She felt the sharp warmth, that was almost painful, reach her heart directly as it then travelled to the rest of her body. She took in a deep breath, feeling the comfort of the magic the spirit had given her as he took her blood.

Which didn't really bother her anymore... Of course, she never really had that problem before, but now, it has just become her need. Nothing else mattered then.

She blinked away the cool pricks of tears from her long dark lashes and shivered as she hugged her bloodied hand close to her chest.

She glanced up at the strange mirror that stared back blankly, not showing any reflection of the small bloodied elf that stared helplessly at it.

She willed the spirit to show her what was wrong with the mirror... 'I don't understand... I've done everything I can!' She thought, feeling completely lost. 'Please... I need help fixing it.'

The spirit whispered for more power... More offering of her life...

... And Merrill had to agree... Finding any information about her peoples long lost culture meant more to her then the consequences of working with spirits, or really, demons, as everyone else called them. She needed to make up for the mistakes she had made before, to help her people.

She brought up a shaky hand, clutching the knife desperately, as though it was somehow her salvation now, and she was about to slice open her wrist, knowing that the more blood she gave, the more the spirit would help her. And she needed that just as much as the spirit needed her blood.

'Yes...' The spirit whispered in encouragement as she brought the silver blade closer to her wrist, its voice echoing through her mind.

A sudden knock on the door made her squeak in surprise and she jumped and dropped the knife in the process. She felt the spirit slip from her mind in a manner of seconds from the surprise visitor.

Merrill hadn't realized how badly she was shaking.

Another knock came and she jumped again, and then stiffened.

She closed her eyes tightly and clutched her bleeding hand to her chest. 'I just need to give more... Then the mirror will be fixed... The spirits will help me fix it...' She tried to convince herself. She felt lost now... She would have to summon the spirit back, or find a different one... And more blood would be asked for from her...

"_Merrill_?" Someone gasped behind her.

She jumped at his voice and froze in place, not daring to look at him.

"Merrill, what are you doing?" Hawke asked breathlessly.

She shuddered and bent down to grab her bloodied knife.

"Nothing, I-... The mirror isn't working..." She mumbled as she fumbled for the bloodied knife desperately.

A sob escaped her lips as she struggled to grab the blade, her bloodied hands making it impossible to grasp properly  
Too much blood, everywhere. Too much blood. Too much blood.

Not. Enough. Blood.

A shudder ran through her small body, 'Not enough... Just need a little more...' Her mind whispered. 'Just... Need more...' Her thin fingers wrapped around the sticky red handle of the blade...

"Merrill stop it!" Hawke yelled in horror.

She felt arms wrap around her waist as they pulled her away from her knife... Her need... The only connection she had to gaining anything from the spirits.

"No!" She cried out and struggled in his arms as she reached for the knife. 'Just need... More...' She thought as she shook wildly in his firm grasp.

"Merrill. No... Please don't do this..." He murmured into the back of her neck, his voice full of pain and sorrow.

Merrill shook uncontrollably as sobs racked her body. Her hands trembled wildly as she brought them to her face, and then reached back towards her knife. Feeling lost and empty. Only her need could fill her...

"I-... I need it!" She cried out helplessly. "I need this... For my people..." The Dalish had lost so much in the past... Merrill only wanted to help fix that... And the Eluvian could help them regain some of that knowledge about their culture. Even the slightest sliver of information would be the greatest gift of all. "It's the only way..." She whimpered softly.

"Merrill..." Hawke breathed out.

She shuddered and went limp in his arms. Giving up. Too many times she had asked for the spirits for help and she had gained barely anything to nothing at all. But there was still that empty darkness that swirled inside her that demanded more.  
Always... Wanting more... Needing... More... Until it had become her own need, her own-

Hawke turned her around so that she was cradled into his chest, silencing her thoughts. She brought her hands up to his chest and nuzzled in closer to his warmth. 'No... Don't do this Merrill... Not in front of Hawke...' Her mind whispered.

She looked up at him shyly his blue eyes stared back, framed by dark lashes. Hawke was a very tall man, and more muscular then most around here. His jet black hair was spiked upward, but a few strands always managed to fall over his eyes. And he always had this sly look to his expression, especially since he was always smirking. But now, he only frowned, his eyes looked troubled and concerned as he removed her bloodied hand from his chest.

He frowned at it for the longest of time that Merrill almost wanted to pull away in embarrassment and shame. His eyes grew wide with surprise and horror as he saw all the scars across her wrist and arm. His gaze turned cold and she wanted so desperately to pull away from him and curl up into a ball in a dark corner and hide there forever. She didn't deserve any kindness from him...

He brought his head down and lightly kissed the deep cut on her palm. Merril blushed and watched him. He pulled back and his intense blue eyes flickered to her own large green ones.

"Please, stop hurting yourself." He whispered.

He slowly moved his hand around her own so that their palms were pressed together lightly. She felt the warmth of his own magic flow into her wound and she relaxed at that, feeling the sharp pain disappear, his magic knitting the cut close.

She closed her eyes as tears streamed down her cheeks. 'But it's all my fault, I have to fix it...' The thought of destroying the mirror passed her mind, but she wasn't sure if she could. She wanted to help her people so badly, and her dark need demanded that she kept it.

Hawke moved his other hand so that it rested on her cheek, rubbing away the wet streaks with his thumb.

"Hawke..." She choked out softly. "I'm sorry..." She barely whispered.

He closed his eyes sadly, and leaned his head against her own.

After a minute he released her hand and removed his other hand from her cheek as he pulled back.

"Don't go!" She sobbed out and then looked down in shame. "Please... Don't leave me..." She whispered, cold fear swept through her at the thought of him leaving. Knowing full well that she would only go back to the knife... She would only go back to her need... And that made her small body tremble.

Hawke smiled warmly, if not a little painfully as well, and she started to blush more, not daring to look up at him.

He scooped her up into his arms and hugged her closely as he moved them over to the small single sized bed.

Hawke cradled her closer into his chest, wrapping his large arms around her small frame. He kissed her nose as he laid them gently onto the small bed, keeping her on top of his chest so that his larger frame could hold her closer.

"I'll never leave you..." He whispered and kissed her softly.

She relaxed more and kissed him back, wrapping her arms around his neck.

He pulled back and cradled her carefully, but also in a fierce protective kind of way as well. The kind of embrace that Merrill always loved for its warmth and how she felt so much security with him.

"You need to be careful." He warned her.

She nodded and leaned into him.

He sighed and scooped her in closer as he laid on his side with her. Burrowing his face into her neck, which was somewhat difficult considering how tall he was and how short she was. But they fit together perfectly all the same. Their height was never really a huge problem, Hawke seemed to enjoy how easy it was to scoop up his little Dalish girl...

She quivered slightly as Hawke gently traced circles over her side. Whispering sweet nothings into her neck. "It's alright, Merrill." He murmured softly. "It's alright..." She closed her eyes tightly, taking in his warmth, and allowing his comforting voice to echo through her mind as she felt herself drift away in his protective embrace,

With the need still whispering in her mind.

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(12.31.12-01.03.13)

**A/N:**  
Listened to:  
Jason Walker- Down

I'm not quite sure what to say here actually. But I've been dying to write something about Dragon Age, but I never would have predicted something like this to be my first one shot for it... 0.0

Ah ifreann, I should probably write something more positive soon... ;) I swear I'm not always this depressing, well... For the most part. ^^'

Anyways, please review! I'd really like to know what you guys thought of this... And plus I love hearing from you guys. :3

~Whisp


End file.
